What has really been going on with us?

About 3 weeks ago I was very excited that I was finally going to get to publish a post I'd been waiting a little over a month to share with all my Blog friends.

Those plans were changed after a visit wih my doctor. On July 13 Patrick and I found out we were expecting Baby McLendon #2 ... very exciting stuff for us. I made Will a Big Brother shirt and we shared the news with the people closest to us (and of course took pictures to put on the blog). I decided to wait to blog until after the first appointment when we'd have an ultrasound. That appointment was scheduled for August 5. We saw our little one on the screen, and heard a heartbeat that day. But, the doctor was concerned because the baby was measuring 6 weeks and I was 8 weeks along. They did some bloodwork and my progesterone levels came back low. I was classified as a threatened miscarriage due to some spotting and the low hormone levels. They put me on a progesterone supplement with hopes this would raise my levels and help the baby grow. We then scheduled another ultrasound for August 20 to see what was happening ... and waited for the longest 2 weeks of our lives. August 20 came and we waited patiently all morning for the ultrasound at 2:30 that afternoon. The doctor said that the baby was now measuring 7 to 7.5 weeks (but at this point I was 10 weeks pregnant) ... and after a long pause she informed us there was no longer a heartbeat. Honestly, this was my biggest fear, I said it over and over during our 2 week wait between ultrasounds ... no one ever wants their biggest fear to come true, but it had for us. Dr. Winkelman was able to schedule my D&C for the following day at noon. So last Friday, August 21, Patrick and I said goodbye to our baby....it has been a rough week, a roller coaster of emotions. One minute I feel fine, and the next I feel beyond sad, and so very lonely. I know our baby is in Heaven and we have our own guardian angel watching over us .... but I selfishly would rather have our baby with us. I am so thankful Will is not old enough to understand what has happened, and he has been able to bring lots of smiles to Patrick and I during this tough time. He is an absolute blessing to us both!

I wanted to share our experience because, as sad as it is, it is way more common than I ever realized. Until it happens to you, others don't talk about it.

Please keep our little family in your thoughts and prayers. We are blessed in so many ways, and do trust that the Lord knows best even though right now we don't understand.